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What is involved in doing cybersex?
 Cybersex or netsex or computer sex takes place when
two or more people (we'll stick to guys in this discussion) connect through the internet to send sexually explicit messages to each other. In reality it is a type of role-playing where the guys
involved are trying to get virtually laid. Freed from the limitations of face-to-face encounters, the players have the ability to do anything and
everything they ever imagined in acting out their ultimate fantasies with each other where reality is no barrier, pain does not exist, and they can soar where they couldn't in real life.
One approach to cybering is a simulation of "real" sex, where the participants try to make the experience as close to real life as
possible, with participants taking turns writing descriptive, sexually explicit passages. Every fantasy is possible: You be the man home
alone and I'll be the paperboy collecting and you invite me in and my clothes are wet and you offer to dry my clothes in the dryer and I get undressed and my towel slips down and…. And so the story of
seduction continues as each participant dutifully types their lines, sending them into cyberspace as the passion rises and the one-handed typing continues. Only to often end in a sticky mess at both ends.
Each role-playing member can be the epitome of what they cannot be in real life –the masochist, the exhibitionist, the sadist, the dominator, the innocent young and naïve boy. Most people who
engage in cybersex consider it harmless entertainment. The ultimate in safer sex. Every night you can play a new role with the same partner or a new one. For many there is the incredible rush of
excitement in describing naughty acts only imagined in fantasies but now playing out with a total stranger in the safe isolation of your own bedroom. Anonymous sex.
My personal experience with cybersex
 I began to engage in cybersex when I was 14 and joined an internet relay chat
(irc) network called "#gayboysex". There I met stevieboy who was 17 and we would often engage in masturbatory erotic role-playing encounters. I did cyber with others also but soon we were "going
together" and would spend hours online daily - chatting, discussing ideas and problems and usually ending up with a panting session. I learned so much from Stevie. He was a master of the erotic in
spinning a story and it wasn't long before I could match him. And we were faithful to each other. I felt I knew Stevie like no other and
could confide everything in him and him in me. Like all relationships we would have our little fights and arguments but we always made up. I was in love with Stevie. But we lived on opposite sides of
different countries and we knew it could never work out in real life for us. Then I met a boy in real life. One I had known when I was much younger but had lost contact with and then met in a mall by
chance encounter. Stevie gave wise advice in me getting to know if this boy was gay, and encouraged me to get involved with my new
friend. His name was Billy and I did get involved. In time Stevie felt it was time for him to withdraw. I fought that idea with the argument
that I had enough love for both of them. But Stevie, being older and wiser, knew better and broke off the relationship 5 years ago. We still send each other cards but no longer the gold chains and more
expensive gifts. Today Billy is my partner and my days of cybersex are long gone. The strange thing is that I don't miss it at all. But I
could miss the long conversations with Stevie if it were not for my new love.
What are the advantages & disadvantages of cybersex?
 Contrary to my view at the time,
many see cybersex as a humorous, pointless, silly and demeaning act that carries no real emotional involvement. Others believe that the sexual feeling exhibited by participants in virtual intercourse is
very real and can be just as emotionally significant as feelings that occur during sexual intercourse. It also can play an important role in long-distance relationships.
Today cybersex is most commonly performed in internet chat rooms and on internet messaging systems. The increasing popularity of webcams adds a new dimensions as the participants can now
expose themselves to their online
chat partners enhancing the encounter
with a visual aspect.
Many see cybersex as a means to satisfy sexual desires without the
risk of STDs. It also affords a sexual outlet to couples who are apart for some length of time due to job demands. It allows people to
engage in fantasies that are too risky in real life or are not practical. It can also help those who are shy to practice to their skills and rehearse in a safe environment.
Still some see cybersex as a form of infidelity –not in a physical sense but in an emotional context. It can also lead to the breakup of real life relationships if one partner becomes involved in a
cybersexual relationship. There is also the very real danger that you never really know who the other person is. You could end up with absurd situations where you have two senior citizens both
pretending to be young teens having cybersex together. A major problem is that the anonymity of cybersex encourages pedophiles to seek out underage cybersex partners. Police officers sometimes
pose as underage boys in chat rooms to bait these pedophiles. Many condemn this practice as entrapment.
How can I protect myself?
 If you do engage in cybersex and do meet someone online, never agree to meet them in a private place. Always tell someone where you are going and who you plan
to meet. If you have no one to tell leave a note somewhere so that if you cannot return home on your own will, someone at home will find the note and be able to trace your path and perhaps save
your life. Meet only in a very public place like a coffee shop so that you can leave if you don't like the situation. Be careful. Be
very careful.
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