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What if I'm too shy to mention condoms?
 Don't be shy or reticent about bringing up the topic of condoms before having sex.
Before deciding to have sex you need to think about protecting both yourself and your partner from sexually transmitted diseases {STDs} and sexually transmitted infections (STIs). This is all
about respect for each other and the responsibility to protect your sexual partners. The fact that you are reading this means you are a responsible person seeking to get all the facts
before engaging in sex. Congratulations for a wise start. If you think you may be having sex without much notice, you should carry condoms around with you. You don't have to advertise this fact; but
be prepared. Don't be embarrassed to admit, when about to have sex with another guy, that you are carrying condoms and are prepared.
Abstinence from sex is without a doubt the best way to avoid getting an STI. But if you have decided that abstinence is not for you (and you should think about it) and have decided to be sexually active,
then using condoms consistently and properly is most important. Just remember that condoms cannot protect you from all STIs.
Many gay teens have told me they were too shy to bring up the topic
of condom use. Forget shy. You need to talk with your partner about having safer sex and using condoms. This is one of the most important conversations you can have with a partner. And the
smartest. Make sure you have this conversation with each and every partner.
You will find that some guys do not like to use condoms for sex. You
need to have an answer ready for this in advance because you will hear this sooner or later. Don't let anyone talk you out of using a condom for protection –it's for his benefit as well as yours. Always
remember that you have the right to protect your own health.
Have a chat with a partner before you start to have sex. Once things
get hot and heavy it may be too late to negotiate condom use. If you think you will be sexually active, plan ahead and have some condoms with you. Don't rely on the other person to have them.
How can I counter anti-condom excuses?
And be prepared to counter arguments if you are pressured to have
sex without a condom. Here are some common excuses and a response to each.
"I don't like having sex with a rubber. It doesn't feel natural"
"But this is the only way I feel good about having sex. And we're so into each other that even with a condom it'll be great. You'll see. And we won't have any worries to distract us."
"But I don't have any STDs."
"Some people have STDs and don't even know it. This way both of us will be safe"
"Don't you trust me?"
"Of course I trust you. But sometimes people don't know they have something when they do. I care for you so much I want to be sure both of us are safe."
"I don't have any condoms"
"Not to worry. I brought some."
"I've never used a condom and I don't know how to use them."
"That's ok – it's easy and fun. I'll show you how to do it. Hey, let me put it on for you."
"Ok, ok we'll use condoms, but let's do it just this once without a condom."
"It only takes one time to get an STI. I just can't have sex if I don't feel I'm being as safe as I can be."
"I refuse to have sex with a condom."
"If you change your mind give me a call."
"None of my other partners make me use a condom –only you."
"Since you are having sex with other partners, that's all the more reason why I can't have sex with you without a condom. Let me show you how good it can be."
"I'm allergic to latex."
"We can use a polyurethane condom. Let's check with a pharmacist about the alternatives."
"I'm too stoned to put a condom on."
" I can do it for you but better yet lets get some sleep and do it when we can both enjoy it more."
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